“You did this because…”

People who like to casually, and often publicly, like to dictate to you why you have done/said something.

Admittedly half the time I have no idea why I do/say things.

My brain is extremely complex and it can take me a while to unpick why I do/say things.

But there is usually a complicated and overwhelming reason - related to thousands of previous experiences of MINE.

I find it quite amusing, but equally shocked, how many people think it is perfectly acceptable to tell me the reasons why I have done/said something.

Do they think I am extremely simple and readable? I am not.

Do they think they know me so well, and so confidently, that they feel they can tell me why I have done something? Remarkable.

I do not know why I did something, but I am surer than sure that it is not what you are saying - not even a little bit. You sound insane.

Telling someone else what they are thinking is incredibly rude.

It is a bit like ‘I am not going to ask you, I will tell you (and everyone else in the room) what you are thinking’.

‘You don’t deserve to have a voice’.

How are people so self-assured??

If this is done to manipulate, or undermine the person, then it could potentially be considered as gaslighting.

Top tips…

If you do this…

Flip the wording and

ASK

Why did you do….?

Help me understand….

Do you know the reason why you did….?