Thank you Cancer…
Always look on the bright side of life. There is always a silver lining, sometimes you have to dig deeper to find it than others.
When my mum was told that SHE HAD CANCER...she felt like she had been hit by a double decker bus. The colour of her face drained out of her, she looked sickened, scared. Her life had literally just been sucked out of her.
But, she hadn't been hit by a bus. She hadn't been ripped away from us without the chance of saying goodbye. We were given a chance, a chance to to have one last laugh, a last cry, hug, heart to heart. We were given a chance to video more memories, to talk about the past and the future, to ask all those questions we ever wondered or questions we thought we may need to ask in the future.
She was given a chance, a chance to prepare as best as she could, to see all her friends, to remember pastimes and to thank those who've helped her, to appreciate what most people really do take for granted. To walk in the countryside and breath in fresh air, to watch flowers bursting into life and witness the young of wildlife kick around. To sit on the shore and hear the waves crash down, the seagulls call and the wind howl.
We went on our last holiday together absorbing every scent, sound, touch and image. Priceless moments and memories that you want to concentrate on every minute detail knowing that one day too soon this is all you will have of her.
This doesn't mean it is any less painful, it doesn't mean it won't be a struggle. Watching the ones you love most forcing their body to fight for an extra week, month, year with you, watching their body fail them, watching the sorrow and disappointment and sadness deep in their eyes. It hurts and it hurts badly.
But if you were given a choice of this....or to have actually lost them to that double decker bus the day they were told they had cancer then I believe that maybe we should consider ourselves one of the 'lucky' ones. I HATE cancer for taking away my mum, my beautiful, clever, kind, innocent, carefree best friend who ALWAYS lived life to its fullest and smiled every hour of every day. Who was thoughtful and fun and generous and loving and playful and sensitive.
But, I thank you CANCER for giving me the chance to say goodbye