Knock knock. You’re not coming in

Ever get those horrible reoccurring dreams that don’t quite make sense?

I get them all the time

This was the dream, but it was actually happening

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knock knock

I could see the silhouette of a man in uniform.

niceties (I was not listening - this is my dream)

Can I come in?

No (exactly like every dream)

Attempts to justify the need to come in (again I didn’t hear what he was saying)

Someone has died, haven’t they?

Yes (again attempts to encourage me to let him in the house ignored - I don’t change my mind. That’s a lie, I do - but only when I want to)

My dad or my sister. My dad is dead isn’t he?

I’m really sorry to tell you this but he was found dead this morning by your dad’s (looks at pad) exgirlfriend X)

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I remember feeling like cold air was really slowly infusing with my body, running through from the top of my head all the way down infusing every cell with cool, peace, calm and frozen.

Everything had stopped. I could hear electricity, but that’s it, nothing else.

Electricity is really quite loud when you hear it.

I was frozen for a time. No clue.

Then my body rebooted.

Time unpaused.

Feeling in my legs left much quicker than the cool air had gone in, both legs went, like those wooden donkey toys you get where you press the button and they collapse.

As I was falling to the floor I realised my husband was holding me. I felt warmth.

The noise came back, loud, too much and all at once. People were saying words at me. Words I know, but could not understand. I didn’t understand anything.

My World was not slow. Everything else had speeded up.

Everything was on distorted time and volume.

I was just watching. Watching everyone and experiencing me, me responding and answering questions perfectly.

Yaye, proud of auto-ME. I did good.

Thank you brain for all those millions traumatic thoughts and scenarios you had me play out and respond to.

This situation was nothing compared to those!!!

Do you have any idea who you are dealing with?

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